Murder in Middle Earth?
by Lorento
Summary: Two recently made graduates sight-seeing around England encounter a slight hiccup in their travelling plans, involving magic, murder and multiple-dimensions. Lost and confused, they run into a strangely familiar group. But, it turns out their wits might not be the only thing they have that can help them. Hopefully quite light-hearted take on 'girl drops into Middle Earth'.
1. Tentlife

Well, this certainly wasn't what she expected for life to throw at her once she'd graduated. Being torn from a life of academia – ok, so it was more drinking and lazing around in bed than actual academia, but still! – to a genuinely terrifying situation with magic, witches and different worlds of all things, had definitely not been on the agenda.

The woman leaned nearer to her, smiling almost apologetically, the knife coming ever so closer, inch by inch. She could practically hear her last seconds ticking away, her breath increasing rapidly, frantic.

"You really don't need to do this, I swear. There must be something else I can do, some kind of a… a… compromise, anything! I'll just give it to you, I swear!" She begged, close to sobbing now, her fingers digging in to the bark of the tree behind her, still unable to move.

"I really do wish there was another way, dearie. I do so hate that this has to happen. But the evil in this land is back, I can feel it. And after what happened last time, I will not be caught out. We were almost destroyed by Sauron in his mad struggle for power."

"Do you even hear yourself?!" She shrieked, tears streaming down her face now. "_Sauron_?! You're crazy!"

The older woman shrugged, now seeming quite amused. "It would seem that way to you of course. I know your world regards ours as some kind of a fairytale story but I can assure you, it's all true. Not that it matters much to you now. I just wanted to assure you that your death will not be for naught. I need your power. And, unfortunately for you, I need it now. And then, I'll be going back for your lovely looking friend. I assume she's quite worried about you, back there in England." She smiled, apparently attempting to be reassuring, and put the knife against the sobbing woman. "Now dearie, hold still, I assume this is going to hurt rather a lot and I don't particularly want to make a messy job of it. Blood is a terrible pain to get out of these robes."

...

"Hey, what d'you reckon?" Zoe asked grinning, leaning back on the grass and stretching slightly in the weakening but still warm summer sun. "Fancy camping in the ruins tonight?"

"You sure? What if someone sees us? Won't we get in trouble?" came the reply from the open boot of the car.

"There's no one here, Ari! And I doubt anyone will come by at night. Stop being so pants and help me put the tent up. Besides, I want to see if it's haunted…"

There came a derisive snort from behind the car. Zoe, raising her head slightly, shaded her eyes to see her friend raise her hand from behind the beaten up, old car and make a rather obscene gesture.

"Well fuck you too!" She said laughing. She groped around on the grass behind her and pulled her black aviators on, smoothing her short, red hair back from her face, pouting at its ruffled waves and attempting to flatten it with her hands. "God, I only straightened this mess this morning. Why am I cursed with frizz?" She mumbled to herself, shaking a clenched fist at the sky.

Stepping from behind the car, Ari grinned. "You clearly don't know me at all, loser. Bloody ghosts are hardly going to want to make me sleep in there, unlike you, crazy lady. Also, you look like a duck when you pout like that. Desist."

"Desisting, cap'n!" Zoe saluted her with her middle finger and then continued on with her badgering. "Please, please, please bestie? You know you love me and you know I'm going to get my way anyway, so why don't we just skip the debate and move the tent in the ruins instead of next to boring, old Shit-Tip in some field?" she said, referring to her beat up, fading turquoise, Volkswagen Beetle. She had received it four years ago for her seventeenth birthday, from her absentee mother, and had named it the Guiltmobile. On its third year of being in her ownership and after many bumps and scrapes, she had rechristened it Shit-Tip, now almost affectionately.

"Fine, but if there are ghosts, you can go outside and shoo them away while I hide in my sleeping bag, cowering pathetically. Deal?"

"Deal!"

Zoe launched herself from her sunbathing spot and ran to the car, pulling the tent bag and her own backpack, which was bursting at the seams, running across the fields and into the beautiful but scanty ruins of the castle before Ari changed her mind. Ari smiled at her friend's antics and, turning to face the sun soaked up the warm rays. It had been an unusually good summer so far and she wondered how long it would be before their luck changed and the fine sunshine changed to a dreary drizzle. England's weather was, after all, notoriously wet. She couldn't remember a summer when the weather had held this long. Last year, thankfully after she'd finished her second year exams at university, there had been two long weeks of blissful sunshine, where her skin had become a gorgeous golden brown colour. Then it had rained. Non-stop.

_Typical Brit, _she thought to herself, still smiling slightly. _Always complaining about the weather._

She and Zoe had graduated four weeks ago, both with respectable degrees - hers in literature, with two languages that she had picked up along the way, and Zoe's in physiotherapy. Five days after their ceremony they had ditched the well-wishes and the underlying hints from their parents to get 'real jobs' and 'real responsibilities', as her Dad kept putting it, and escaped. She loved him dearly but she had barely been back at home for two days before he had started harping on at her; what she was going to do with her life and what was she going to do with a degree in literature, _really_?

Well, she didn't have any answers for him. And really, it was a few years too late to start criticising her degree choice. So, full of worries and anxieties about disappointing her parents and the pressures of being a freshly made graduate, she had despondently walked to Zoe's house down the street. And Zoe, being the impulsive one of the two of them had come up with a plan, straightaway. Leave for the summer. Get their heads straight. Come back with goals and answers for their parents' niggling questions. But they had to do it on the cheap, being several thousand pounds in debt to their beloved government. And so they had packed Shit-Tip to the brim with the 'essentials' - light packers they were not- and set off to tour the castles, abbeys and monuments of England. That was two weeks ago and Ari was still loving every minute of it. Hanging out with her best friend and having no commitments, no deadlines or parents looming over their shoulders, was apparently just what the doctor ordered. They had stopped in at cheap B&Bs when baby wipes and dry shampoo weren't quite cutting it on the shower front, but all in all, they both loved camping in the shadow's of monoliths of British civilisation. The history nerds in both of them delighted over the old stories, the noticeable changes in architecture and defences, and the people they had met had been wonderful, and so interested to hear about their travels. It was an amazing experience and the best thing was that they had five or six weeks left until they were expected home.

"Ari, are you going to get that gorgeous arse of yours over here? I need help with the tent. And make sure you remember the food!" came a distant shout.

This was it. The best summer of her life. Grinning, she cupped her hands round her mouth and shouted back;

"Hang about, you mardy cow!" Distant laughter echoed back to her. She scooped up her backpack, sleeping bag, and a shopping bag of food, locked up the car, and made her way over to the ruins.

...

"Good Lord, what took you so long? I'm starving. Look, you took so long that I'm withering away!" Again she was lead back on the grass and sucked in her cheeks and pushed out her ribs, attempting to make her slender frame look skeletal. Ari looked at her, head tilted to the side.

"You look like a warning against plastic surgery."

"Douche-cake."

"Inventive. Here you go, heathen!" She threw a plastic covered sandwich at Zoe's head, missing due to her terrible aim, but Zoe caught it regardless.

"Ewww, egg. I think that one is yours, smelly oik. Did we nick these from the B&B this morning?"

"_We,_ my dear friend, did not do anything. _I _was telling the owner about our travelling plans and he insisted on making us sandwiches and what have you. We shall have a veritable feast I say, a feast!"

"Excellent news. Got anything that doesn't smell like your brother after a particularly spicy curry?"

"You're such a lady. Have the bag, there'll probably be something in there that strikes your fancy."

"Cheers." Zoe rifled through the plastic bag and, after a short while, crowed with laughter, holding aloft from the bag a suspicious looking box. "Jackpot! The guy gave us free condoms! Was he hitting on you or something? He was at least forty five! For shame, Miss Ariadne! What would your delightfully smelling brother have to say about this kind of business?"

"Sweet Jesus, that's grim. Wait, that's a Boots' bag, do you think he left them in there by accident?"

They both looked at each other and burst out laughing. Incoherent with amusement, anyone passing would have been quite alarmed by the sight: two twenty one year olds sitting on the ground surrounded by random bits of canvas, poles sticking out of the ground at odd angles and barely nibbled sandwiches, positively bawling their eyes out with laughter.

"Bet his wife was super disappointed when they realised, eh? Look there's even lube in here. Oooh, it's vanilla flavoured. Shotgun!"

"You're so depraved that you're stealing some poor man's lube? That's a new low, even for you."

"Pfft, he practically gave it to us."

"Us? What exactly are we doing tonight…?"

"Hah, you wish!"

"Bitch, please, I would be the best you ever had."

Ari smirked at Zoe, who was looking almost impressed.

"You know, when I met you all those many, many years ago…"

"It was, like, six years ago Z, we're not a hundred yet!" Ari interrupted looking exasperated. But Zoe would not be deterred from this particular trip down memory lane. "… You were so virginal and pleasant, not a single bad word came from those angelic lips of yours. And now look at you. I'm so proud!" She pounced on Ari and hugged her, squishing Ari's egg sandwich into her chest.

"You are a satanic monkey, sent from hell to terrorise me. Get off me, lesbo, you're crushing my precious food." She pushed Zoe away, her green eyes shining with suppressed mirth and fussily dusted at herself for imaginary crumbs. "Eurgh, can you get egg mayonnaise out of lace?"

"Tch, there's nothing there. And also, that top is from Primark or something, I doubt it'll last that long anyway. Alrighty," she clapped her hands in what she imagined to be an efficient manner. "Let's finish up the food and get this show on the road. Teamwork this tent like we mean it, yeah?"

Ari grinned, nodding her head but unable to speak due to the large amount of food she had just stuffed in her mouth.

"Always got your mouth full of something…"

...

The next morning saw a change in the weather. Though still warm, rain clouds threatened on the horizon, and Zoe groaned when she poked her head out of the tent.

"Looks like it's going to piss it down in a while. I'll probably forgo my run this morning, can't be arsed anyway. Which site do you want to go to next anyway? We kind of got off topic last night…" This was true; instead of planning their next stop, the two girls had made up a lurid sex life for the B&B owner, complete with dalliances with the women they had seen by the seaside the day before. The conversation then turned, as it so often does in these kinds of situations, to which character in a movie they would sleep with.

"Alan Rickman in every movie ever." Zoe burst out laughing. Ari defended her choice and continued. "His voice is incredible! Especially in Die Hard. Ooh and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves."

"Don't be silly." Zoe said, talking over Ari's terrible impression of the Sheriff of Nottingham ("I'm going to cut your heart out with a _spoon_!"). "It's obviously Captain Jack Sparrow! We would drink rum and be merry and such."

"You definitely picked the best option from that franchise. Seriously, what is up with Will Turner and the bucket of grease he dipped his head into every morning? It's crazy how he looks so much different in Lord of the Rings…"

Zoe had groaned dramatically at this point; "No, not again!"

"What?"

"You have an obsession."

"So? I love the books and the films are definitely not to be sniffed at!"

"Definition of an obsession right there."

"Right, Lord of the Rings. Who would you try and bang if you could?"

"Gandalf! I could make some wicked innuendoes about what he could do with his staff. And… that's the only one I can remember, other than blondie elf boy."

"I think you mean Legolas."

"Pfft, yeah, whatever. You?"

"It's so hard to choose! I'd probably go for Eomer."

"Who the hell is that?"

"He's the big, blonde one; looks vaguely like a sexy lion. From Rohan? Eowyn's brother?"

"Nope, no idea."

"He becomes King of Rohan at the end."

"Woah! Spoiler alert. Oh wait… I don't care."

"You suck. New game…"

And thus the laughter had continued late into the night, with neither the police nor any ghosts disturbing them as Zoe had promised. Ari was pulling her favourite pair of short dungarees on over a black top that barely reached her midriff and, instead of answering Zoe's question, asked;

"Reckon I should get some cowboy boots to go with this?"

"I don't think it's legal to wear cowboy boots if you don't come from the deep south of the USA… But sure let's crack open a few beers and go line dancing afterwards!"

"Your hilarity never ceases. I'll take that as a no then." She pulled on a pair of maroon converse and stood up. "I wish we had thought to bring a mirror with us."

"That would never fit in Shit-Tip."

"True. Ah well, who needs mirrors around when I have you around to criticise my every clothing crisis?" Zoe nodded sagely in agreement. This morning she had despaired of her wild, short red hair and tied it back into a surprisingly neat French plait, teamed with four small silver hoops in the double piercings in her ears and a swallow in the top piercing in her left ear. She looked down at the denim shorts she had on and decided not to bother changing; the rain didn't matter so much to one's wardrobe when you were going to be travelling in a car. Just to be on the safe side, she pulled a large, black jumper out of her backpack over her green tank top, fringed with lace.

Ari was brushing her hair but paused mid-stroke and looked at Zoe rather quizzically. "Are you wearing walking boots?"

"Yes…?"

"Since when did you own a pair of those? I thought I knew every item in your wardrobe since we were fifteen!"

"Since my Dad likes birdwatching and walking in the Lakes, and I like hanging out with my Dad. I thought they might come in useful…"

"Huh. Very practical of you." Zoe threw a cushion at her.

"Ok, sorry! Your bum looks great in those teeny, short shorts." Zoe laughed as Ari started dancing around their tiny tent, singing 'We like short-shorts'. They both set to packing away their things, cramming an assortment of items into their bags.

"How on earth did we get all this stuff to fit in their before?"

"Well Ari, if you weren't keeping what looks to be an entire toilet roll in your bag, you might have more room."

"It's in case of emergencies!" Ari sat back on her heels and placing her hands flat on top of the coat at the top of her bag, squished the contents down and quickly zipped it up, only mildly catching her hand with the zip. She then eyed the ends of her hair dismally. "I super need a hair cut… Shall I splurge at our next stop?"

"No, you just need to stop dyeing your hair. That's what causes the split ends to begin with: your hair is too dry from the dye."

"Hmph. That's your opinion, I suppose. I was actually thinking about adding another colour. What do you think?" Sighing in exasperation, Zoe eyed Ari's hair. It was a beautiful wave of colour, from her natural dirty blonde to a streaky kaleidoscope of dark pinks, lilacs and electric blue. Being a natural ginger herself, she had been teased throughout primary and high school, but she absolutely loved her own hair colour and didn't understand Ari's need to change her multitude of colours every few months.

"I was thinking maybe green next. Like a turquoise green though." Ari mused, picking up her bag and exiting the tent.

"You know, I think McFly would be super into you right now." That comment obviously led to a rendition of 'Five Colours in her Hair', while they began the laborious task of taking their tent apart.

"Why haven't we gotten any better at this yet?"

"Probably because the instructions went missing…"

"You mean _you_ lost them!"

"… And we've been doing it wrong ever since then."

"I blame you! Alright, you take this back to the car and I'll roll up the sleeping bags and we can crack on. Try and find the map in the boot as well, if you can."

"Sure your delicate, little arms are up to the task?" Her comment was ignored so she just grinned at Ari's scowl and poked her tongue out. Bulky tent back piled high in her arms, she turned and walked towards the road, saying over her shoulder; "Back in a jiff."

Ari concentrated on the sleeping bags. Why were these things so fiddly and hard to put away? Zoe was always teasing her about it. After a minor battle with the second one, involving several cuss words, she leaned back victorious and shouldered her backpack. Looking up as she rose, Ari caught sight of a statuesque woman looking straight at her, not more than twenty feet in front of her. How had she and Zoe not seen her before? She flinched back; the intensity of this woman's stare was insane. Ari tried to smile politely and picked up one of the sleeping bags, intending on getting away from the mildly awkward situation but found that she couldn't break their eye contact. Instead she felt compelled to watch the woman who, without removing her gaze from Ari, walked towards one of the walls of the ruined castle, her navy robes billowing quite impressively as she came closer into view. Who was this woman? Ari spared a moment to internally comment on the weirdness of the robes – _I mean, who really wears robes? Maybe she's some crazy druid chick?_ – and beat down the momentary swirl of hair jealousy that occurred from the woman's shiny, jet black waterfall of keratin, and with no conscious thought slowly stepped towards her.

_Wait, what am I doing? Legs, stop!_ Her legs quivered and she came to a halt. The woman, blue eyes still locked with Ari's, quirked her lips into a slight smile, which only served to emphasise her loveliness, and reached out to a door that had definitely not been there before. Ari had never felt this curious before. What was happening here? Compelled and completely powerless to resist, she followed the woman, who was stepping through the door. She reached the door after the woman had finished and placed her free hand on the handle. A small part of her brain was positively screaming at her, begging her body to stop and at least wait for Zoe before she want through the door. But, Ari shrugged and almost skipped through the door and into the darkness beyond, not hearing Zoe's shout behind her:

"Ari! I found the map!"

* * *

Hi all! I've been a loyal fan of for the past nine years or so but I've have never, ever written anything. But I've been feeling quite inundated with plot bunnies, having recently been introduced to the lotr section. You guys =). I haven't particularly planned this down to a tee, so I'm just going to run with it.

This is rated M for language and maybe some sexy times later on. Just so you know, I'm English and there's going to be quite a lot of slang in this story – I'm not just crazy and making up words and weird spellings. This isn't meant to be a serious piece of work but if there is anything wrong with it, please let me know!

Anyway, as this is my first time, please be gentle if you choose to review ;)


	2. The Holly and the Crazy

Ari stumbled through the blackness into sudden sunlight, dropping the sleeping bag as she tried to shade her eyes with her hand and regain her balance. She looked around, slightly panicked. Sunlight shone brightly through the canopy of the huge holly trees surrounding her, though it was several degrees cooler than before and Ari felt a slight chill on the air. Confused, she turned around, but could see only a tall stone wall with a large black crack running vertically through it, with no sign of a door.

_Where the hell am I? And where did all these trees come from? There were only fields before…_

A loud snap made her spin back around, eyes wide at the noise.

The robed woman stood before her, staring at her yet again.

"Hello, dearie."

…..

"Ari? Where are you?"

_Where the bloody hell did that girl go now?_ Zoe stooped to pick up her backpack. While adjusting the straps, she glanced around, quite confused. Ari had been right here, wrestling with the sleeping bags. Perhaps she had been distracted by something? It wasn't like her to just leave Zoe's stuff lying around though. Maybe this was a trick and Ari was about to jump out from behind a wall and scare the bejeezus out of her. She wished she would hurry up and do it, if that was the case. She was starving and there was bound to be a greasy cafe in the seaside town a few miles away that could satisfy her urge for a breakfast of bacon and tea.

A slight movement caught her eye. A wooden door, elevated slightly about ground level, was slowing shutting in the ruined wall to her left.

_That definitely wasn't there last night… _Zoe thought, frowning slightly. She hurried forward to investigate.

…..

"Um… hello." Ari said slowly. "How are you?"

The woman threw back her head and laughed. "I love British manners! Terribly confused but still terribly polite. My name is Teraneth and I am very well, thank you. All the better for meeting you, in fact."

"That's, um, kind of you. I'm Ariadne. You have a very interesting name." Ari began sweating a bit. This woman was giving off crazy vibes like they were going out of fashion; her mind was almost fuzzy with alarm.

"Indeed, it goes hand in hand with an interesting person, if I do say so myself. Now, Ariadne, I'm in a bit of a pickle and I hoped that you could help me out."

"O-of course."

The woman laughed again, smiling widely. "So glad you could oblige without me telling you what it is that I want. It makes things much easier. Come here."

Ari watched in horror as her legs, almost with a mind of their own, decided to march over to Teraneth. Terrified eyes wide, Ari came to a stop right in front of the woman. She was beautiful up close, with a strong nose and shapely eyebrows over sharp blue eyes, but Ari could see the fine lines of age upon her skin.

"Excellent." She made a motion with her hands and, gasping, Ari felt her backpack pushed off her and her hands pinion behind her back, twisted together almost painfully. "You must understand that I don't like doing this sort of thing. But I need power. I can't afford to be taking it from people here and drawing attention to myself like others do, so I had to go to your world. It's wonderful how many people in your world have so much untapped magical potential – almost like a buffet!"

"Magic?" This woman had definitely been beaten with a crazy stick. Obviously something ridiculously weird was going on here, but actual _magic_? And did she think that Ari had something to do with all this? Regaining slight control over her legs, she took a tenuous step away from her. "This is insane. There's no such thing as magic!"

The woman chuckled and circled Ari, looking at her critically. "Dearie, what on earth do you think is holding your hands together right now? Invisible ropes? Be serious. And that 'door' which you so thoughtfully came through? It was a portal which I can control with _magic_."

"A portal?" Ari whispered, shocked.

"Must you parrot everything I say? It will become most tiresome before the end. Yes, a portal. It led you to a place where those with the knowledge can embrace power. And luckily for me, I have that knowledge." Ari cautiously took another few steps back but Teraneth simply matched her, step for step.

"Now, now, nothing to be worried about really. I'll just say a few simple lines, slit your throat and absorb your power. And as you already agreed to help – and trust me, this is really helping me out – you can't really back out now."

"What!" Ari shrieked, almost tripping over herself now, trying to back away. Her back collided with a tree and she looked up at the woman, fear burning in her eyes. With the renewed eye contact, Ari felt her control over her legs melt away.

_Think Ari, think! There must be a way out of this! You can't let yourself get ripped apart by this psycho!_

Teraneth, now standing directly in front of her, plunged her hand into the folds of her robes and pulled out a wickedly sharp, black dagger.

"You really don't need to do this, I swear. There must be something else I can do, some kind of a… a… compromise, anything! I'll just give it to you, I swear!"

…..

Zoe had no idea what was going on. First, she pretty much fell head first out of darkness in to a bright forest. Then she had tripped over Ari's sleeping bag. She thanked the gods above that she hadn't cussed out loud when she heard her best friend, her sister in all but blood, sobbing, a dark figure in robes – _what the hell? Who wears robes? _– towering over her. As silently as she could, she made her way to the nearest tree.

_Perfect._

…..

"Now dearie, hold still, I assume this is going to hurt rather a lot and I don't particularly want to make a messy job of it. Blood is a terrible pain to get out of these robes."

Teraneth bent her head and began murmuring; slowly increasing in volume, until she looked up, straight into Ari's terrified tear streaked face. Her eyes were shimmering with an inner fire, her pupils becoming so enlarged that they nearly eclipsed the blue of her eyes, and her skin had become even paler, almost translucent. The dagger was held aloft to the right of Ari's throat, threatening and mesmerising at the same time. Ari was unable to move and almost hyperventilating, eyes now fixed on the dagger, knowing that each breath may be her last.

Then suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a huge stick smashed into the side of Teraneth's head, flinging her to the side and ending in an undignified heap on the leaf-strewn ground. With a stance that would have made a wrestler holding a chair aloft proud was Zoe, a ferocious look on her face.

"Zoe." Ari breathed, sliding down the tree, dazed.

"Shit, she got you. Hold on." Zoe knelt beside her friend - now breathing heavily, her eyes unfocused - and examined the slash that was a bloody line from the bottom of her neck to her shoulder. "Well that bitch scuppered your top but the cut isn't too deep, it probably won't need stitches. You're going to be fine." She grasped Ari's hand and squeezed it, concerned about Ari's condition. She hadn't lost much in the way of blood, so maybe she was going into shock about the attack?

An excited, whooping noise came from behind them and quickly got Zoe back onto her feet, shielding Ari protectively.

"That was a nice taste of power!" Teraneth got back onto her feet, swaying slightly. The sight of her eye filled with blood and the terrible mess one side of her face was in made Zoe smile sadistically. "I'll be needing the rest of it though. And then yours."

"Come and get it then, bitch." Zoe gripped her weapon of choice harder, her hands slick with sweat. She hoped her attempt at bravado was convincing because she was terrified. What the hell was going on here? "Lets see how pretty you look after we go a few more rounds, shall we?"

Teraneth felt her face gingerly. She snarled on feeling the damage caused and leapt towards her. Zoe felt the stick zoom out of her hands. Astonished, she was unprepared when moments later she was tackled to the ground, the older woman's hands around her neck. Kicking and wheezing, she tried to force Teraneth off her but the grip she had was too strong. None of her usual tricks were working, her limbs felt like they were moving through treacle. Her vision began to darken around the edges and her assailant's face became blurry. Teraneth's bloody and bruised face was stretched into the semblance of a grin.

Suddenly her body stiffened and her eyes widened in pain and shock. Groaning, Teraneth's grip loosened, and Zoe wrenched the woman's hands away from her throat coughing loudly and sucking in deep breaths. She could hear Ari's panicked breathing somewhere above her. Teraneth slumped to her side, her eyes closing, Zoe's hands still grasping her hands tightly and Ari still clutching the black dagger that she had embedded into her back. A rush of burning heat infused Zoe as Teraneth's eyes' slowly closed, and she gave into the darkness and fainted.

….

"Ugh…" Zoe felt like she'd been run over by a bus. Was she hungover? From the state of her throat, she could only assume she'd been to some kind of heavy metal concert and been screaming along. And what the fuck was all the tweeting about? Couldn't the birds have pity on her poor, pounding head? Had they all sat on the tent just to torture her? The sun felt way too bright against her closed eyes as well. She hated waking up.

_Wait a minute. Either the tent has a huge fucking hole in it, or I'm just sleeping outside on the ground…_

She cracked her eyes open and groaned again, closing them tightly. She actually was sleeping on the ground. A leaf tickled her nose and sighing, she sat up gingerly, eyes still closed, cursing her body and general pain as she did so.

"Only you can swear so elegantly, so early in the morning" Came a muffled voice.

"Mmph." Zoe rested her head sideways against her knees and slowly opened her eyes. "Oh God. Ari, wake the hell up."

She pushed herself to her feet quickly, observing the area around her. The memories of what had happened rushed back to her, making her heart pound uncomfortably hard and her breathing quicken. Ari was lying still several feet away on the leaf-strewn ground, with one arm over her eyes, whilst the other side had patches of drying blood on it. What had immediately gained her attention, however, was the prone figure of the black-haired woman in dark blue robes, the dagger still sticking prominently out of her back.

Zoe felt sick.

"Oh God," she moaned. "What the hell did we do?"

Staring at the body, Zoe gave it a wide birth as she made her way over to Ari and knelt down at her side.

"Ari, open your eyes." Zoe pulled her arm down and noticed the tears pooling in Ari's green eyes.

"You remember then?"

"That I murdered someone? Yes." Her chin wobbled and, sniffing hard, she wiped at her bloodshot eyes with slow movements. Tears rolled down the sides of her face and leaked into her hair.

"Oh, Ari… I don't know about murder. You _saved _me – I would have died if she had held on to me for much longer. You saved my life. And she would have killed you too. She was inches from it! If I had caught her at a different angle…" She shuddered, not wanting to think about it. By this point Zoe was crying too, slow tears dribbling down her face. Ari sat up and nodded. She brought her hands up to wipe away the tears staining Zoe's face but hissed in her pain on moving her injured shoulder.

"We'll need to get you to a hospital, I think. You'll probably need a tetanus shot."

"What should we do about… about _her_?" Ari kept her gaze locked on Zoe, refusing to look at the black lump behind her friend.

Zoe sighed again, wiping away the tears impatiently. "I think – I think we need to call the police."

Ari looked even more frightened at this prospect but nodded regardless.

"We'll just tell the truth – I mean, look at the state of us! I think they'll believe it somehow. You look like you've gone a few turns with Jack the Ripper and I'm certainly no paragon of perfect health." Zoe rubbed her throat gingerly, sure that it was a pattern of black and blue finger-shaped marks.

"And the magic…?"

"I don't know what that crazy bitch was on about, but I think we should probably leave it out. They'll probably think we were on drugs." Zoe tried to lighten the situation but Ari's face was still grim and ghostly pale. "We could probably tell them that was what she was after. I mean, she is in robes…" She pulled Ari to her feet and then walked the distance over to the wall, calling over her shoulder;

"I'll just get my phone out of my bag, hang about."

As she collected the two discarded bags and the single sleeping bag, she noticed that Ari was leaning over the body, fingers at her neck.

"What are you doing?"

"Just checking that she really is dead… I can't believe this has happened. Why the hell did this happen? Oh God…" Suddenly she shot away from the corpse of Teraneth and with one hand resting on an obliging tree, she bent double and began to heave up the contents of her stomach. Zoe made her way over and rubbed Ari's shaking back comfortingly, trying to quell her own rising nausea. She always hated seeing people throw up, it always made her feel like she was about to toss her cookies too.

"Done with the chundering?" She felt Ari nod shakily. "Ok, you sit over there with this, away from all that, and rinse your mouth," she said gesturing and handed her a bottle of water from the bag, "and I'll call the police."

Nerves bubbled up inside her as she turned her phone on. What does one say in this kind of situation?_ Oh hi, just calling to say me and my friend murdered a witch?_ That probably wouldn't go down too well. Punching in 999 on her phone with clammy fingers, Zoe held up her phone to her ear to hear, well, nothing. She looked at her phone, frowning, and saw that not only was the signal bar empty but the date and time were wrong too. Before their sudden deviation from sight-seeing, it had been just after 9 o'clock on a fine August morning. Her phone was now trying to inform her that, actually, it was New Year's Day and it was nearly 1 in the afternoon.

"Ari, can I borrow your phone? Mine's being weird." Ari nodded her assent and rummaged through her bag to find her tiny mouthwash.

After fiddling about her Ari's rather more expensive, more hi-tech phone for a few minutes, Zoe gave up.

"I think we have a problem here. Our phones don't have signal and have changed to effing January."

"What?" Zoe slumped next to her and explained about their phone dilemma.

"What if… what if she was right?"

"What about?"

"About the door being a portal. What if we are in a different world now? With magic and crazy people who try to cut us up?"

"Aside from you being freakishly calm about all of this, that's fucking crazy talk. Stop it. I'll go look at that wall now, there must be a hinge or something, somewhere." She stalked off. When she disappeared out of sight, behind the trees, Ari started shaking again, a black mood descending on her.

_It's just shock_, she tried to reassure herself. _You just killed someone in self-defence. This is natural. It would be worrying if you _weren't _upset. Zoe will come back here in just a few seconds with really good news and we'll be back at home in a couple of days in no trouble at all._

She hugged her arms around her middle, ignoring the burning, stretching feeling that was emanating from her shoulder and watched the trees around her with wide eyes, still scared, no matter how many times she tried to reason with herself.

Zoe trudged back a few minutes later.

"I couldn't find a single fucking thing. Just stones and a huge, thin crack right down the middle. You ended up there too right? After you came out the door?" Ari nodded. "Damn it!" She shouted and instantly regretted it. Coughing and spluttering, she massaged her throat softly, grimacing. Attempting to calm down somewhat, she carried on quietly;

"So let's tally up, shall we? No phones, no immediate idea of where we are, a dead body, blood and bruises everywhere, no tent and only one sleeping bag. And it's bloody cold. Fucking excellent." She sat down next to Ari abruptly and put her head in her hands.

"It's not too cold. And actually, if we're giving the portal idea some credence, I think I might know where we are. She mentioned Sauron in her ravings…" Ari said cautiously. Zoe eyed her curiously.

"You say that like it should mean something to me?"

"You know Gandalf but not Sauron? For God's sake, we're in Middle Earth!"

Zoe stared at her a moment and then laughed incredulously.

"As in _Lord of the Rings_? Is now really the time for this?"

Ari huffed indignantly. "Fine, don't believe me, but when we find out that I'm right, I want that bit of chocolate that you've got stashed in your bag."

"Fine, but I want you to let me get another tattoo."

"Hardly comparable but yeah, deal."

They sat in silence for a while, each pondering the same few questions.

"Well, what are we going to do now?" Zoe asked.

"Fuck if I know. We can't just leave a corpse in the middle of the woods. Far too B-movie."

"I don't think we can just sit here and expect someone to stumble across us and help either."

"Well, I need something to wash my shoulder with. Got any more water? I used the rest of that bottle to swill my mouth out."

"No, sorry. There's a stream or something over there."

"Um, where?" Ari looked where Zoe was pointing, craning her neck carefully. "I don't see anything."

Zoe looked confused and spoke slowly; "It's weird – I can't see or hear anything but I just know that there's running water that way."

"More magic?" Ari said, almost fearfully. "Could it be a trap? She said there were more of her around."

"I dunno… We've not got anything else to do though. May as well go. Follow me." Zoe shouldered her backpack, took a look at Ari's shoulder and picked up hers as well. Ari smiled gratefully and picked up the sleeping bag and water bottle.

"Don't be grossed out, but I think we should take the knife… you're right in that we don't know who else is out there. Don't worry though, I'll get it." Zoe jogged in the direction of the body. Ari turned away, not wishing to watch but memories of what she had done flooded her mind. Zoe returned a few minutes later, pale faced.

"Let's get going."

Ari steeled herself and turned around to look at their attacker. Zoe had rearranged her body so that she was lying, hands folded at the base of a tree, looking almost peaceful from a distance, as if she was only asleep.

"Didn't seem right to just leave her like that. Don't worry, we're not going too far."

Ari wiped away the fresh tears that had formed, her eyes stinging, and followed Zoe. She'd do it again, no matter what, to protect her friend.

* * *

I didn't really like writing this chapter as it's a bit too dramatic/dark for me – can you tell? – which is why it took me a while to get it posted.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it – let me know what you think if you have a moment!

Thank you to my lovely reviewers from the last chapter =).


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